Shark Attack (1999) / Action-Horror

MPAA Rated: R for violence and language
Running Time: 100 min.

Cast: Casper Van Dien, Ernie Hudson, Bentley Mitchum, Jennifer (Jenny) McShane
Director: Bob Misiorowski
Screenplay: Scott Devine, William Hook
Review published March 4, 1999

With a title like Shark Attack, you probably would expect, at the very least, some action and excitement, even if you don't expect a particularly great film. On the contrary, this film is so mind-numbingly boring that it may actually rival Jaws the Revenge for worst ever made.

The laughable plot casts Casper Van Dien (Sleepy Hollow, Road Rage) as a hunky marine biologist (aren't they all?) that travels to a port in South Africa where he learns of an old friend's death due to a brutal shark attack. Foul play is suspected by the deceased's sister (McShane, The Watcher), who wants desperately to get to the bottom of things, but lots of powerful players may be involved and the potential threat seems larger than hungry fish alone.

One could call this a waste of talent, but it looks like there isn't any to waste here. Shark Attack sports shamefully bad acting, completely lackluster direction, and an abominable script, which all combine to create a total disaster of a movie. Some masochistic viewers might give it a go thinking Shark Attack will be so bad that it'll be fun to laugh at, but that won't likely be the case.  It's such an insult to one's intelligence that it will leave most viewers, provided they don't fall asleep altogether, feeling frustrated beyond belief at how idiotic it all is. There's very little mystery behind it all -- well, there is ONE mystery.  How does such a piss-poor film spawn two sequels?!

-- Followed by Shark Attack 2 (2001) and Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002)

 Qwipster's rating:

1999 Vince Leo