Naked Weapon (2002) / Action

MPAA Rated: Not rated, but would probably be R for pervasive violence and strong sexuality
Running Time: 90 min.

Cast: Maggie Q, Anya, Daniel Wu, Jewel Lee, Pei-pei Cheng, Andrew Lin, Almen Wong
Director:  Ching Siu-Tung
Screenplay: Wong Jing

Review published February 4, 2007

There are three things you need to do before settling in to watch Naked Weapon.  First, you need to fill the room with friends of the frat house variety -- you know, the Neanderthals that watch movies to point out the body parts they like on any of the female actresses.  Second, you need a LOT of alcoholic beverages -- and make sure you have consumed quite a bit before the film starts.  Lastly, you need to have some sort of tool to open your skull -- this film is going to fry up your brain cells, so it's best to put that brain in a Zip-Loc bag and toss it in the freezer for later.

I expect this kind of worthless entertainment from screenwriter Wong Jing, but I still maintained hope, despite the titillating subject matter, because director Ching Siu-Ting has impressed me with other equally no-brain films, such as Conman in Tokyo, Wonder Seven, Royal Tramp,, Swordman II, and Chinese Ghost Story.  Sure, they were all schlock, but they were fun schlock, and in the world of Hong Kong action flicks, that's about the best you can hope for to make an evening fun. 

Sadly, Naked Weapon is only fun in concept, while boredom-inducing in execution.

A cold, ruthless woman named Madam M runs an outfit where young girls are abducted and brought to a top secret facility where they are trained to be assassins.  It's do or die in the camp, and six years later, they are almost ready to graduate and perform their first mission.  But first, they will all battle it out to the death to see who can become the sole victor.  M makes an exception in this case, allowing three of the toughest to survive.  In addition to the fighting skills, they are also taught how to be sexy because, get this, they can seduce men and during their moment of greatest weakness (wink, wink) their spines are vulnerable for snapping, and killing their target.

With a plot this ludicrous, it might be fun to laugh at, and admittedly, I was amused for a little while at how over-the-top it is.  However, there comes a saturation point for all movies like this, and unfortunately, that point comes pretty early for Naked Weapon.  With the exception of some sporadically interesting fighting, this film has very little to offer anyone who isn't looking to make fun of it for the ninety minute duration.  Remember what I said about getting sloshed?

Naked Weapon is only for the staunchest of b-movie exploitation fans, the kind of people who rank Adrienne Barbeau as the finest actress of her generation.  It's as idiotic and noisy as they come these days, delivering the lowbrow entertainment at its lowest.  Despite the title, there are barely any nude scenes, so even perverts will come away feeling gypped.  Save a few brewskis for when it's all over.  You might need them to help you forget. 

 Qwipster's rating:

2002 Vince Leo