Boardheads (1998) / Comedy-Romance
aka Board Heads
aka Beach Movie

MPAA Rated: R for sexuality, nudity, language and brief drug use
Running Time: 90 min.

Cast: Alex DeBoe, Gabrielle Anwar, Bronson Pinchot, Douglas Spain, Loretta Swit, Meadow Sisto, Traci Bingham, Victoria Silvstedt, Teresa Ganzel
John Quinn
Screenplay: John Quinn
Review published March 17, 2003

My good friend, Andrew, pointed out while watching this cheapie beach nude flick that it is a fairly blatant rip-off of that late night Skinemax standard, Hardbodies.  Both films revolve around a plot whereby some middle aged men hang out at the beach trying to "pull chicks," but having no luck.  With the help of a more hip young man in the know, they learn what it takes to blend in with the in-crowd. 

They follow that plot for only half the movie, before things completely fall apart as the plot digresses into a bikini contest and a whole string on nonsensical hook-ups in the cast.  Of course, by this point of the film, you probably aren't likely to care, if you even stick around that far, as this is one movie that is only entertaining if you plan at laughing at how bad it is.

I suppose that those people out there who have just been dying to see the 61-year-old Loretta "Hot Lips" Swit in a teen sex comedy will finally get their wish.  Perhaps it's not too surprising to find out that this would be her final motion picture appearance, apparently finding more lucrative work as an author of books on needlepoint.  I'm guessing that washed-up stars like Bronson Pinchot (Beverly Hills Cop, Second Sight) nor Teresa Ganzel (The Toy, Transylvania 6-5000) don't bother to include this on their resumes either.  It's also surprising to see Gabrielle Anwar (Scent of a Woman, Body Snatchers) in this flick too, especially in a role that requires her to do little but strip down to almost nothing while sporting flowers on her chest to cover her bare necessities.

Board Heads is an innocuous surf and sun flick, as easy to watch as it is easy to forget.  If you are dying to see what it would be like if Bill & Ted met Balki, this might be right up your alley.  All others won't care whether it's called "Board Heads" or "Boardheads," because the most appropriate title is just plan old "Bored".    

Qwipster's rating:

2003 Vince Leo