The Babysitter (1995) / Thriller-Drama

MPAA Rated: R for sexuality, strong language and some violence
Running time: 90 min.

Cast: Alicia Silverstone, Jeremy London, J.T. Walsh, Lee Garlington, Nicky Katt, Lois Chiles, George Segal
Director: Guy Ferland
Screenplay: Guy Ferland
Review published January 5, 1998

Ladies, if you were ever unfortunate enough to be able to read into the thoughts of your typical sex-starved male, you'd might be appalled at what you'd find. Lurking in the forefront of his thoughts, hiding behind his smiling and seemingly innocent face, lies pure, unadulterated lust, the likes of which would make you cringe, if not run for your very life.

The main ingredients of The Babysitter consist of an array of potential male heat: The boyfriend (Jeremy London, Mallrats) with blue-balls, the "friend" (Nicky Katt, Phantoms) who wants to help their relationship (well, help himself), the forty-something father of two (JT Walsh, Hoffa) with a wife of receding beauty (Lois Chiles, Broadcast News), and the son on the verge of manhood (Ryan Slater). Toss in nubile Alicia Silverstone (Clueless, Blast from the Past) and watch these men turn into swine before your very eyes. Take heed, for the shocking desires brought forth in this film are of the average thoughts that a typical male has about a thousand times a day. Scary, isn't it?

The story: The forty-something couple leave for a party, leaving their son and daughter tended to by the young Ms. Silverstone. The father wants her, the son wants her, the boyfriend wants her, and the neighborhood thug wants her. They all have explicit sexual fantasies about her and their passions become so strong that soon they cannot control their passions from boiling over into reality. The mother is added in contrast with the babysitter: one just wants space to breathe from the desirous men surrounding her and the other wants nothing more than to feel desired once again.

The film itself features a unique flavor and a competent crew of actors, while the script is of the stuff late-night cable programming gurus dream of. The daydream sequences with the babysitter would serve as justification to flash sex and nudity across the screen every five minutes. However, the film fails because if the point is to titillate, the fact that there is almost no nudity (certainly none by Silverstone) renders the film as nothing more than a soft-core porn flick with all of the "naughty bits" edited out. It's like watching Private Lessons edited for commercial television: pointless.

Qwipster's rating:

1998 Vince Leo